I’ve been a lucky whore. I know it. I never thought I would see myself aging as a sex worker, but I’m enjoying it.
I started the business like 15 years ago, and although I had always considered it (yes, I mean, always, even when I was a little girl), I didn’t search for my chance for myself.
I got back together with my ex-boyfriend from high school, but he was married and conflicted. He suggested paying me; then, it wouldn’t count as infidelity but as a “party”. I said yes.
Then he asked me to meet one of his friends, then another, then another… and suddenly I was working.
Things change when you age as a sex worker
Many people think that sex work is a very short career because you must be young and perfect, but it doesn’t work like that.
When I started in the business, I did not know security measures, nor was there information on the internet about health. So I did these crazy things like bringing the clients to my place or telling them to first see me at the cabaret (I’m also a cabaret performer).
It might look wrong, but that gave me the guideline to work as I do now. I’ll explain this to you in a minute. Aging as a sex worker is not an obstacle at all. You don’t have to quit unless you want to.
In those times, the proper thing to do was to be anonymous. Therefore, changing your name and building a working profile that was not your real one was advisable.
Yes, I also tried that for a few years, especially when I only worked on the webcam. I’d love to tell you about my experience as a webcammer because I learned so much. But that will be in another article.
It was fun to build my character and pretend I was a university literature teacher, dress like a fetish and have a glamorous name which appeared in poems written by my favorite writer, but that was not me.
Time passed, I quit sex work, got married, got divorced and unexpectedly, I turned 40 and men in their 20s-60s started drooling for me. I became a sexy elegant fortyish lady which every man wanted to fuck. So I came back. Aging as a sex worker became a positive thing!
They didn’t want to fuck the university literature teacher, dressed like a fetish with a glamourous name which appeared in poems written by my favorite writer, but me. The cabaret performer, the sex work activist, the one without high heels and lace, but with Dr Martens style boots and an activist slogan t-shirt.
And in walks my new advertisement…
In my country, there are not a lot of free, reliable websites to advertise your services, so I still use the very old one.
Fifteen years ago, I would beg to have clients, any clients. Now, I prefer to feel safe and respected, even if that means having fewer clients. Aging as a sex worker brought me some kind of whoreish wisdom.
I don’t mean that being young and searching for any client is bad. I totally get it. I’ve been there. I’m just telling you what happened to me.
My advertisement is no longer kinky; looking for a horny client to call at the moment. Now it says:
“Only for intellectuals with good spelling.”
Elegant fortyish interesting lady with refined and intelligent talk. VIP service. I offer you laughter, pleasure and status. People with disabilities and foreigners are welcome. Intellectual fetish. English and Spanish. “Show off a badass girlfriend.”
This makes them think twice before calling or writing. And it creates a fantasy about fucking an experienced woman who will prefer champagne instead of cola drink.
This doesn’t mean that I despise the working class. On the contrary, I enjoy going along with them, but only when they find me somewhere else. Not at the random hot website. I have a regular one who is a welder with more money and attention than any Doctor in Philosophy.
My best advice as an aging sex worker
Sister, always have at least two incomes. You never know when sex work will be your providing source or when it won’t. Take a class, learn a job, study, and become the best.
This will not only be your second option but will also be interesting for your clients. Make them think you don’t need their money, but they need you. This will also be helpful when you don’t want to accept a client, and you will have the chance to say no without running out of money.
Go, go and succeed.
Ladel Cabaret is a Mexican actress and writer of cabaret shows, who coordinates her own company.
Burlesque teacher, escort, and disobedience instructor.
Active member of the global sex workers’ movement.