A Guide To Gender Neutral Sex Toys

So, you’re wondering what a gender neutral sex toy is? It’s a very interesting question that will take awhile to explain, so buckle (or should I say strap yourself in!)

To know what a gender neutral sex toy is, one needs to understand what gender neutrality is.
Wikipedia’s cole’s notes offers it as this; “Gender neutrality, also known as gender-neutralism or the gender neutrality movement, is the idea that policies, language, and other social institutions should avoid distinguishing roles according to people’s sex or gender.”

Choosing a Gender Neutral Sex Toy Can be Seriously Confusing

It can be seriously confusing for those not in the “know” when it comes to making choices to acquire toys without any discernible gender distinctions. A sexual plaything that can stimulate specific genitals, without them being attached to the mostly unhelpful male/female dichotomy.

Perplexing as it may seem, one need not look any further than the gender specific packaging of the disco era seventies to see the hyper-masculineand ultra-feminine, “in your face” images that emboldened the boxes of the device within. 

A trip to your local sex shop is all one need do to see that this gender specific formula is one that many companies still use today as a sales tactic.

Sex Toys Are About Pleasure

Let’s not forget, sex toys are about pleasure.

And if you’re any good at it, you’ll see past the gendered package to a device that will stimulate the genitals of whichever person they are attached to.

Gender is considered a “social construct” by the advocates of gender neutrality. Folks who would prefer to not attach the constructed label to themselves to be neutral, so to speak.

This, however, then leads into a discussion on genitals. 

Are they still called the same thing? Well yes they are. They are just attached to someone who identifies as gender neutral. A person who could also present as neutral, non-stereotypical gendered.

So….what do you focus on when looking for sex toys that are gender neutral?

Yes it’s still called a vagina

Simply put, you focus on the pleasure it will give that set of genitals. Yes it’s still called a vagina, with a clitoris, labia, and g-spot, and yes, it’s still called a penis with a shaft, glans, and foreskin.

However, just to confuse you a bit further, these sets of genitals can be attached to a trans woman, trans man, transsexual woman, and transsexual man. 

I know, you’re having one of those “head scratching moments” as I like to call them. The kind of moment where you sort of understand what I’m writing, but truly have no real comprehension of it.

But let’s give that a rest and bring it back to product packaging. It’s sad to say, but companies still focus on marketing that targets specific gender demographics. Techniques that use words “for him” or “for her”, bold colours, soft pastels, and imagery.

One of my favourite companies, JIMMYJANE, a California based company, chooses to forgo the aforementioned strategies. Opting for solid colours, bold lettering, and pictures of the products on the boxes, void of an actual person, or other signs of unneeded “gendering.”. 

Sex Toys Are Usually Displayed Without any Gender References on Shelves

When you’re in-person shopping, depending on where you are, you’ll hopefully see sex toys displayed without any gender references – and instead, just good old on the shelf displays. 

But on JimmyJane’s website? Guilty as charged. Nestled within the nav bar is FOR HER and FOR HIM.

I totally get it, because many still equate the genitals with the gender. This strategy also gets you to the check-out faster.

That’s not to say there aren’t  progressive sites out there offering user navigation that spells it out clearly. 

Vibrators, Couples, Penis Toys, Dildos

Take for instance Babeland, a Seattle based retailer who has taken out the gendered distinctions on their website. Instead, they choose to use words like Vibrators, Couples, Penis Toys, Dildos, Lube, and Anal Toys within their navigation.

A clear presentation that their toys are for use by whoever, on, and in, whatever.

My advice?

Look beyond the packaging if you’re confused. Think of the excitement the end result will bring. 

Look at the toy, not at the marketing manipulation.

Be open minded to the fact, if you haven’t already, that you may find yourself in the arms and sheets of someone who is gender neutral.

Sex is meant to be good, so don’t over think it, and do what should come naturally.

Enticingly Yours,

Velvet Steele