It’s always amazed me how folks think there is some kind of “unique” guide for trans sex workers. Speaking from years of experience I can honestly tell you, there isn’t!
Of all the things these years have taught me is to be true to you, and maintain your boundaries.
The world of information is overflowing with direction for folks of all kinds engaged in sex work. Appearing in-print, the internet, and beyond – are particulars that for the most part, apply to everyone.
Answering the proverbial what, where, how, why, when, and how to’s, most “guides” are a primary for standard safety practices within the industry. An informational “take-home” for providers to adapt from, to fit within their own service provisions, lifestyles, and client needs.
Drawing from my own experiences over the years, I’ve come to appreciate the variations within the bizz. Some of it common sense, some of it a strong intuition, when dealing with clients who need a little tune up. Of course the same could be said of both provider, and client.
So let me share my thoughts below……
Our Services Are Based On Needs, Not Wants
Notice I write “needs” because we all know that sex work is about catering to the specific needs each client has. Needs that are unique to each client as they are to each specific provider. We don’t cater to the same clients, nor provide the same services. What we do know is that it is a “need” not a “want” . The idea of “want” that negative folks outside of this world would have you believe.
The rhetoric that sexual desire and manifestation is somehow organic and fluid, easily controlled. When in actual fact it truly is not. Specific desire for distinct activities is ingrained over long periods of physiological and mental development. Individual realizations through actions and activities that have become ingrained.
But, it’s not just mental, and physical, it’s also chemical and not that simple. And I’m not about to chemically castrate my clients to satisfy the belief of the “antis”.
….And I’m not sorry for my side rant!
They Are Providers Catering To Specific Clients
Hence why we have different kinds of providers catering to specific clients, each distinct from one another.
So, circling back to the guide and my teachings; boundary maintenance and truths to oneself is super important.
Trans Sex Workers have that extra element on offer, whether it’s the surgically corrected genitalia and enhancements, or the opposite. Not to mention the type of service activity on offer.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that this range is huge. From eroticism to fetish, BDSM to Dominance and submission, full service, massage, webcam, talk and text, stories, photo voice, and beyond.
They Are Providing The Same Services
Trans Sex Workers are here providing the same services as the cisgender supplier.
I’ve always believed that to truly be effective in the occupation you exercise, that truth is one element that needs to be observed. Stigma does kill, and having the strength to get past it, affords a person the much needed strength to own it, so to speak.
Trust me, it took me a period of time to finally be out to my friends and family, and once that happened? That monkey was finally off my back.
I wasn’t skulking about in the shadows, I gained my voice, my truths, and established my boundaries.
Clients Will Try To Push The Envelope
We also know that clients will push the envelope to get a little extra or try something new. Things they may have read about, seen, or heard of.
The menus of service providers these days are very clear, and precise, especially those that are confident in what they offer. Menus are a reflection not only of the amenity, but usually of the likes of the provider, and this, attracts the like minded client.
Of course we also know that many clients only glance at menus, picking up on the words that detail the service they are seeking.
Eventually long term clients do get to know the full menu, but that for the most part takes time for them to learn.
Ensure You Maintain Your Comfort Levels
Maintain your comfort levels, make it clear to the boundary pushers, what you offer. Be true to yourself. If you’re not comfortable, why would you trigger yourself into agreeing to a service you just can’t wrap your head around?
We need to remind ourselves that for every lost client, there are 5 new, that will be more than happy to pay for the services you offer, and the services they need.
A healthy mind and body not only applies to clients, but to providers alike. There is nothing wrong in being strong, to be able to say, yay or nay. It’s not free for all. Just saying…..